What You Need to Know About Save the Date Etiquette


Maybe you got engaged over the holidays and are realizing that one of the first items on your to-do list (once you pick that pesky venue and set a wedding date) is going to be to send out save the dates. Or maybe you’ve been engaged for ages, but suddenly your summer or fall 2019 wedding is fast approaching, and it’s time to get out some mail. Either way, that tends to leave you frantically googling save the date etiquette. What are the rules for this piece of stationery, and do you really have to call it an STD? (To answer the latter, no. Let’s agree to skip that acronym for stationery. Ew. There’s just no reason).


The tricky part about save the dates is that they are relatively recent inventions in the world of weddings. I can guarantee you that your grandmother never sent them out, and chances are, your mom didn’t either. But as families and friends have gotten more geographically dispersed, weddings have become more of a destination event for many of the players. And that means it can be really helpful to let people know that they should, well, save the date six months to a year in advance. Sending out save the dates isn’t mandatory, but it should be employed when it seems like it will be genuinely helpful (or when you really just want an excuse for more pretty paper goods).

When do you send out a save the date?

Your save the date is not your wedding invitation—that’ll go out later. The save the date serves as a kind of first-round notice, especially if you’re getting married in the summer, when people are more likely to be on vacation, having a destination wedding, or hosting a several-days-long celebration. As such, you want to send your save the date out a minimum of six months before the wedding.

Who do you send a save the date to?

People that you are a hundred percent sure are going to make the guest list, even if you’re worried about the fire code. Plus people you know will be there, like your moms. Because for the most important people in your life, these will land right on the fridge. That “look at this thing my baby is doing!” feeling doesn’t stop when your kids get out of grade school.

What’s the guest etiquette with save the dates?

If you want to include a plus one for your brother, make sure your save the date indicates such. If you don’t want children to attend, make sure you let parents know so they can arrange childcare.

Where do you get save the dates?

We offer Save the Dates ranging from traditional to casual using the images from your obviously adorable engagement session. We can use one stand alone photo of your cuteness or a collage of more pictures (since it’s the worst to choose just one!).





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